Thanksgiving

It's that time of year when families plan to spend time with extended family members. It's the busiest travel time of the year. Thanksgiving is a great idea; a time to reflect and be thankful for all the good things that we have experienced this year; a time to be grateful for our blessings, and in particular, grateful for family and friends.

I will admit that the older I get the harder these vacation times are. I don't regret the direction my life has taken, for I truly cannot see how it could have been any different, and being single has it's benefits. Yet, truth is, I did not marry and I did not bear children. My brothers have all married and have born children and have or are still raising them. Their lives are very different from mine. To celebrate Thanksgiving means visiting with one or the other, as the whole family no longer gets together on Thanksgiving, and haven't for years. If I had my own family I'm sure it would be the same. So be it. But it brings a certain since of loss to my heart, the loss of experiencing my own family and the intimacy it brings.

Last year we lost our brother, which none of us has fully accepted. His family is feeling the loss keenly as this holiday season approaches. They will be celebrating their first Thanksgiving without him. I can only imagine their sense of loss, the feelings of being cheated from years of relationship that should have been theirs. I know I feel that as well, but this is their father, their husband. The loss is so much deeper. I am so grateful they have a deep love for one another, that both sons chose excellent spouses, and that they will support one another through this difficult time. And I'm so thankful that Roger's impact on their lives was so deep and meaningful. His shortened life was well lived.

There are so many things to be thankful for! I am so very thankful that my parents raised all of us to love the Lord. We have each had our unique journeys in our faith, but faith remains. I am grateful for fabulous family members with whom real and intimate relationships have been established, and hoping that more can be developed. I am grateful for good health and all the benefits that it brings. I am extremely grateful for a career that finally satisfies the hunger in my heart to make a difference in people's lives! That has been a long long long time in coming! But here it is! I'm so very thankful!

I am thankful that the Lord saw fit to find me in California and place me in a healing community. Those years remain intensely precious to me, as I learned so much and received so much healing that I could truly fill a book with all the blessings! Thank you Jesus, for loving me so well!

I am also very much thankful for God's absolute wisdom in creating animals, and in particular, dogs. What amazing companions. They are designed specifically to bring joy and comfort to the heart. I am thankful that almost 8 years ago He brought the perfect dog for me to my house as a starving stray. She has been a wonderful companion. And, since I am gone so much, I found another pup to keep her company. I'm grateful that they are both in good health and that they love me so well.

I am thankful for friends, several friends in particular (some are family members) who have stuck with me through the good and bad, and me with them. There is nothing more healing than having someone still love you even when the ugly, the bent, the difficult side of myself raises it's ugly head and threatens healthy relationships. And I, them, in return. Thank you Jesus for this reflection of Your unconditional love! I am thankful.

Yes, holidays are a bit harder for me than years past. But I am thankful for the lessons to learn and the opportunity to turn sadness into joy! There is so very much that we can all celebrate! Let the celebrations begin!